turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize