I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize