Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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