Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
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I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
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I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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