You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize