I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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