A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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