My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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