butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize