The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize