did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
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Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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