wanna go halves on a baby?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
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If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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