Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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