I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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