I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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