but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize