Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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