Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
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Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
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Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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