i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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