I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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