Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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