my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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