the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
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I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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