Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
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After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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