I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
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When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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