I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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