so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize