can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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