Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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