I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize