Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize