This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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