I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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