Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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