I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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