You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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