Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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