I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize