O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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