When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I cockslap morals
Duck Duck Cougar?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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