So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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