captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
did i walk over a car last night?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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