I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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