i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Last time i carry you out of a forest
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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