Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize