You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Vodka?
Forever.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize