i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize