I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
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He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
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It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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