I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize