apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize